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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23114896">The Elevator</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RayaKor_El/pseuds/RayaKor_El'>RayaKor_El</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supergirl (TV 2015)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Confessions, Fix-It</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 16:14:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,232</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23114896</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RayaKor_El/pseuds/RayaKor_El</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Does the truth imprison us, or set us free? One thing we know for sure, the truth can hurt. Even then, when we have had a head on collision with the truth, facing it about our negative sides is a difficult thing to do. However, none of us can improve without knowing the truth, even when it hurts. If we learn, the truth really does set us free.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Elevator</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A 3x18 divergence</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"You are never going to make Kryptonite ever again."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You know, I knew this is how you'd react. But James Olsen convinced me that we were on the same side. He thought you'd actually be grateful."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You think I should be grateful that you learned how to make the one substance on this planet that can kill me?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Thousands of things can kill me, Supergirl. And everyone else on this planet. Fire.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But we don't go around banning bonfires or candles. Cars kill people every day, and yet we still have the courage to get in every morning and drive ourselves to work. There is one element on the planet that kills a Kryptonian, and you can't tolerate its existence."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You really do have a god complex."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Do you know what it's like to walk into a room and your skin feel like it's going to be seared off your bones? Or like nails are running through your blood? That's what Kryptonite feels like."</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>I absentmindedly reached out and pressed the button in the elevator. Lena's and my heated argument we had on Juru crossed my mind. Guilt burned in the pit of my stomach and regret sat heavily on my shoulders.</p><p>
  <em>All these lies. I can't do this anymore. I can feel her slipping away. My best friend.</em>
</p><p>I thought back to our most recent interaction at the DEO. Supergirl and Lena seemed on better terms, but I knew that it was only going to be a very tender truce until this was all over, unless I did something. "Could you hold the door please?" I heard a familiar voice ask. "Got it." I called to the voice and pushed my hand between the doors.</p><p>I looked up and saw Lena rounding the corner. "Lena!" I greeted and smiled at her. She smiled back and gave a very light laugh. "Kara. You are a sight for sore eyes." We both reached out for a hug.</p><p>"Hi. I've been missing you for weeks." I stated sadly. We pulled away and the doors slowly closed. "I'm so sorry I haven't been in touch. It's just-" She started. "Oh, don't apologize about anything." I brushed off casually. I glanced over to her. "What are you doing here?" I asked. She sighed. "Ah visiting Ruby."</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>She lifted a large bag and my eyes went wide. "I didn't know what to bring, so I brought ice cream." I chuckled. "That's a lot of ice cream." I stated and we both smiled. Lena's frown disappeared as quickly as it came and she changed the subject. "Did you hear what happened?" She asked. I exhaled loudly. "Yeah. Yeah, I did. What an awful day for her." I stated.</p><p>We both faced the doors as an uncomfortable feeling surrounded me. "Yeah, that's an understatement." I clicked my tongue, hoping to get our conversation to a lighter subject. "Alex tells me that you're helping Supergirl fight Reign. I'm sure she's so grateful for your help." I commented and glanced over to Lena. She quickly looked at me before looking back to the elevator doors. "Well frankly, I am only working with Supergirl to save Sam because I have no other choice." Lena replied. I tried to play it off. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"Well, it's that old adage. "Never meet your idols, it'll only lead to disappointment"?" It felt like a stake went through my heart and my stomach rolled. "Oh, yes." I said softly. Lena met my eyes and held her gaze. "Supergirl's not all truth and justice like she pretends to be. You know, she had James break into L-Corp and search my private vault." Just above her left eyebrow and leading up to her hairline, I saw a vein sticking out, something that only happened when she got extremely frustrated at work. "I'm sure she had a really good reason." I tried to defend but knew that I needed to try to stay objective. "Of course, James didn't do it." She informed me.</p><p>I looked away. "Really?" I prompted. <em>James lied to me? </em>"Well, no. We've been dating each other for months. He knows me, and he trusts me, and I trust him. Supergirl went behind my back and used my personal relationships against me. That's something my mother would do. She crossed a line. I can never trust her again." I studied Lena for an extra second after she finally turned her attention away from me. Guilt erupted in my stomach like a raging fire. <em>Maybe I am as bad as her mother. Rao, I need to do something. I need to fix this. I can't keep lying. I can't keep hurting Lena. It isn't fair to her. Not after everything she's had to go through in her life. And now I'm being just as bad as everyone that I tried to protect her from. </em>I pushed my glasses up my face awkwardly as there was a short pause in our conversation.</p><p>"I didn't know what flavor Ruby likes, so I bought every flavor." She repeated. We both laughed, but I knew it was forced. "I hope you brought your appetite." She added on. I looked down to the bag and nodded my head. "Oh, you know me." I could hear the elevator slowing to a stop; we were almost at Alex's floor. I clenched my jaw and reached out and pressed the service button. The elevator lurched to an abrupt stop. "Kara?" Lena asked.</p><p>In the corner of my eye, I could see her staring at me. I dropped my head and took a shaky breath. I knew the security camera was broken. It had been for months. The building manager was always too lazy to fix something so small, despite Alex's constant complaints. For once, I was actually glad that Mr. Isonzo didn't fix something in Alex's apartment complex.</p><p>"Kara? Kara, are you okay?" I heard Lena ask, worry lacing her words. I clenched my jaw even harder as a tear ran down my face. Her hand rested on my shoulder. "We've been friends for a while now Lena, and I can't do this anymore." I started. My throat felt like it was closing up. Lena scoffed frivolously. "Kara? What are you talking about?" She asked and I could sense a small smile on her face.</p><p>I reached up and quickly wiped away a tear as I continued to not meet her eyes. "I promised that I would always be your friend. I promised that I would always protect you, but lately all I've done is hurt you. I can't stand it anymore. I don't care if you won't ever talk to me again. Considering how I've been treating you lately, I'd deserve it. But I just want you to know the truth."</p><p>"Kar." Lena laughed again nervously. "I don't know what-" I finally pulled off my glasses and looked at Lena through blurry eyes. I ripped open my shirt and I felt Lena's hand fall off of my shoulder. "Maybe I do have a god complex. Maybe I do act selfishly. And there is nothing I can do to ever make it up to you. You said that there are a million things that can kill you on Earth, and that you face each day without fear. I know that, and I admire your strength. It's just that with Kryptonite, it not only hurts me physically, but it also brings back things I don't want to remember." I sniffled.</p><p>"I remember living on Krypton, tripping on a table corner, and landing on a statue that I made for my father. It cut my forehead, and almost tore my iris." I unconsciously rubbed the small scar above my left eyebrow. "I remember the pain from that day. I also remember playing with one of my friends, Del-Or, and breaking my leg. I remember being so sick with Argo Fever that my parents sat by my side every day until I got better. I remember every single bruise, gash, broken bone, sickness; everything. I was 13 by the time I was sent here. I know <em>exactly</em> what it is like to be vulnerable to everything around you." I confessed as memories flooded my mind.</p><p>I looked away from her. "It's not that I don't trust you, Lena. I do. It's just the last time someone tried to make synthetic Kryptonite, it wasn't just me that got hurt. I hurt the ones I loved." I trailed off. "You mean the Red Kryptonite incident a couple years ago? The Kryptonite that Maxwell Lord made?" She asked with a soft voice.</p><p>"Yeah. I didn't just hurt people physically, I hurt them mentally. The things I said, the things I did, they were unspeakable." I chewed my lip. "No one else knows, but I still hate myself for what I did in those few days. I would do anything to erase them forever. To take back the things I said to those I love." I admitted. I let out a breath. "I couldn't subject you to that, Lena. I know that it's not your intentions to hurt me, but I'm still afraid. When I lost control of myself, I was numb. And when I finally was in my right mind again, I realized something, humans are fragile." I stated.</p><p>My throat was closing up as my biggest fear started to surface. Lena opened her mouth. "So you admit it, you do have a god complex." She scoffed. "<em>Maybe Lex was right</em>." She added on under her breath.</p><p>Anger surfaced along with my fear. "Don't you get it?! I have to be invincible because the people I love are not! I have to be like this, be in control, to protect you all from the threats <em>I</em> bring! The Daxamites, the rogue Kryptonians with Myriad, vengeful aliens, basically anything in this universe- Rao, even <em>other</em> universes-that could hold a grudge is after all of you because of me! And with Kryptonite around, how am I supposed to keep you all alive if I'm dead, poisoned, or altered in any way that interferes with my judgment?!" My breath was heavy with anger, and guilt. I glanced at Lena through the corner of my eye. She was unreadable. I exhaled and pressed the button, allowing the elevator to continue to its destination.</p><p>It continued for about two seconds before Lena pressed the button again. My blood ran cold as I knew that Lena was about to lash out at me, something that I rightly deserved. "I heard it from your side, but now, you get to hear from mine, got it?" Her voice was tight. "Okay."</p><p>"I've always known that you were Supergirl. From that very moment where you walked into my office, to the very 'subtle' lies you tell about your whereabouts. It's all too obvious. Even those times where you've saved me, stating that you were 'in the neighborhood' or getting coffee with yourself, I knew. I don't like to brag, Kara, but I'm smart. I can piece things together. I can read signs. I will not ever be mad at you because you kept it from me. I understand that you wanted to keep it safe, in the beginning."</p><p>She took a breath and looked at me with calculating eyes. "You say you trust me, then why didn't you tell me a little way down the road? Especially since I've given you plenty of opportunities to tell me? Did you not trust me enough? Is it because of my family?" She asked. I shook my head. "No never. You know that I've never seen you as a Luthor, just Lena." I pointed out and I carefully looked at her. "Then why are you doing that now? Why are you losing trust in me?" I opened my mouth to speak, but she interrupted me. "Don't say only because of the Kryptonite. I know there's something else to it." She stated.</p><p>"I felt betrayed."</p><p>"Betrayed?"</p><p>I nodded. "Yes. With everything that we have gone through together, why didn't you tell me about Sam? Why didn't you tell Alex? She's a part of our family. So is Ruby." I asked. "I-I honestly don't know. I mean, my heart is telling me to say that I wanted to be focused solely on helping Sam, but that's not it." She explained, but it sounded like she was telling herself this, trying to reassure herself, rather than telling me.</p><p>"Then what is it?" I prodded. She hesitated as she searched for an answer. "I think it goes back to after your fight with Reign." She started. I raised my eyebrow. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"Since I knew it was you, and I saw you being dropped off that building, I feared the worst. James tried to cover for you, telling me that you were sick. So I went to see you, and at first I thought that I was wrong. That I somehow thought that you were Supergirl. But as I talked to her, I knew it wasn't you. It wasn't <em>my </em>Kara. It worried me to no end. I didn't know if you were alive or dead. And after I saw fake you, James was no help either. I knew he knew about your condition, but I wasn't told anything. Then after you made your recovery, you didn't return my calls, I didn't see as much. And you were extremely standoffish at work when I did see you. I thought that maybe I had done something wrong to upset you. Being with James? Maybe."</p><p>She shifted her weight to the balls of her feet. "I thought about breaking it off with James, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings. He's a great guy, but I think I am with him because I lost you. You drifted away, and I thought that having him by my side would replace your presence. But to be honest, it doesn't. I miss my best friend." Her voice broke. "And then I found out that my other best friend tried to kill you as her mind literally transformed, I was so afraid. I couldn't lose her too. Instead, I offered her my help. I didn't come to you, Kara or Supergirl, because I felt you slipping away. I didn't know what to do to make it better. So instead I focused my energy to helping Sam and protecting Ruby."</p><p>Lena tightened her jaw and I saw her muscles flex. "To top that all off, you and the DEO took me in for questioning, accusing me of 'harboring and abetting a mass murderer'. That was the first punch. Then, when I offered you my help by giving you Kryptonite to help stop Reign, you accused me of being a liar, of being someone who would want to harm or even kill you and ordering me to give up all my research. That was the second punch, and it really hurt me. Then you tried to make amends after taking down Reign, which I do appreciate, but like I said, what you did was also personal for me too. It was a way to possibly help Sam return to any sense of normalcy, and you questioned my motives." She divulged. My shoulders dropped as reality hit me like a truck and burned my insides.</p><p>I opened my mouth, hoping for something to come to my mind and maybe lessen the swirling tension between us, but I stayed silent. Lena exhaled, knowing that her words cut me deep. I thought hard as we stood there, and Lena finally hit the button to start the elevator again. I quickly hid my suit under my shirt again. "The ice cream is melting." She stated with an emotionless voice. I nodded.</p><p>After an eternity in the elevator, the doors opened and I saw Alex's hallway. Lena stepped out, but I stood still. She raised her eyebrow. "Aren't you coming?" She asked. I shook my head. "No, actually. I need to take care of something." Lena's eyes flashed with anger and worry as the doors closed.</p>
<hr/><p>A few hours later, I showed up to L-Corp. I saw Lena sitting at her desk, with papers everywhere. I shifted my weight quietly before knocking of the glass that lead from the balcony to her office. She slowly turned around and saw me. I could practically see the cogs in her head turn as she debated about letting me in. I paused in the doorway.</p><p>Finally, she motioned for me to come in. "Lena." I greeted. "<em>Supergirl</em>." She stressed sharply. "Can we talk?" I asked. "I do believe that we did that already." She stated, her voice guarded. She looked down to the papers and started to organize them. "Besides, I'm busy trying to pick up where Sam left off before she-" Lena trailed off and stopped moving the papers littering her desk. For a few moments, neither one of us made a move as we watched each other. I finally did something that I should have done a while ago; I swallowed my pride and went to face the consequences from my actions.</p><p>I walked to her desk slowly. "You were right, Lena. I should've seen it from your point of view. All you wanted to do was help Sam, and me. And all I did was chalk you up as another Luthor, despite our friendship. I shouldn't have acted the way I did. It was selfish, childish, and overall unnecessary. You are always right." I stated and placed the container I had in my hand on her desk. She studied the case before looking up to me. "Is that-" I nodded.</p><p>"Yeah, the rest of the DEO's Kryptonite." I finished her sentence. Confusion crossed her face, and it looked strange there. It was something that never really showed, and even if it did, she did a good job hiding it. "Why?" She asked as she locked eyes with me.</p><p>"I want to prove to you that I trust you."</p><p>Lena slightly narrowed her eyes. "Aren't you worried?" I shook my head. "No. I mean at first, I was a little. But I took a step back and looked at everything we've accomplished together. There were so many times you could've attacked me, or sided with your mother, but you didn't. You stood by my side when I had to make some hard decisions. And now with Sam and Reign, you have some hard decisions too. I want support you and make this as easy as possible." I stated. I looked down to the case.</p><p>"The only thing I ask, Lena, is that you keep that secure." I added on before turning around to the balcony. I took about five steps and was ready to jump into the sky. "<em>Kara</em>!" Lena called, this time with all her emotions controlling her voice. I paused and turned around slowly. Lena was suddenly by my side. She wrapped her arms around me tightly. "Thank you." She whispered, and a small smile made its way on my face. A little weight was pulled off my shoulders as I hugged her back. "Of course. I just want us to be friends again." We pulled away from each other. There was a small smile on her face too. "It might take a little time, but I think I can manage that."</p>
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